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OTHER ITA SITES:
A Guide For Parenting Divorce
Divorce is a hot issue in today’s family system. It creates issues that affect not only the parents but the children and society as whole. Whatever the circumstances may be, it is the children that are usually most affected by the ravages brought about by separation.
Emotional repercussion and conflicts can be somewhat avoided if parents will work hand-in-hand to rebuild their relationship to as normal a state as possibe. While the marriage may have failed, it is important that the children sense at least a civil relationship between their parents. The children must maintain a relationship with both parents after a divorce, and it does no good for them to hear each parent degrading the other.
This attitude of cooperation can work very well, in theory, if both parents are committed for their children’s sake.
It is very important, after divorce, that the children do not feel left-out and forsaken as a result of the failed marriage. More often than not, parents fail to understand the importance of a good relationship after they call it quits.
Rebuilding “family” after divorce is difficult, but through sheer commitment and understanding, both parents should be able to raise their children with hope and respect.
Rebuilding A Broken Relationship
For most people, a broken relationship will remain “broken” no matter what. But, through the course of time, and perhaps some counceling, parents learn to realize the importance of working out a relationship with their children after the failed marriage, as well as with their ex-spouce. It is important for divorced parents to maintain a cordial attitude with one another, especially when around the children, or when discussing issues that involve the children.
The process of “rebuilding” a broken relationship is difficult when both parents, together with their children, no longer feel comfortable with one another. While difficult, there are a limitless number of activities you can actually do in order to help get your relationship back to an acceptable condition.
a. Cook Out – Meeting the needs of your children cannot be fulfilled by financial settlements and other monetary-related obligations. Inexpensive activities such as a family cookout is a sure way of soothing relationships and maintaining respectful treatment of one another.
b. Outdoor Activities – A day at the park, a day at the beach, or even a shopping trip with your children is a good way for each parent to promote individual bonding with the children. This type of activity provides an opportunity for the non-custodial parent to track school activities and progress, catch up on their childs relationships, as well as the childs overall health.
c. Movies – Going to the movies provides a fun atmosphere for both the divorced parent and the children. This is a great way to spend some one-on-one time togeather and should not be overlooked.
d. Play Time – This activity is applicable for families where the children’s age range is from 3 to 10. This is also a perfect time for both parents to share a bonding activity with their children, and somewhat minimizes the effects of divorce on younger children.
e. Educational Field Trips – Security is everybody’s business, especially in divorced families. More and more families are beginning to accept the culture of togetherness, even when divorced, as an opportunity to help the children to feel as secure as possible under the circumstances.
There really is only one main point here; it is the divorced parents responsibility to put aside their differences in order to minimize the bad effects their divorce will have on their children.
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