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Living In Mexico: It's The Rainy Season And I'm Bored

We've been holed up in the house pretty much now for two weeks and counting. We venture out between downpours. Such is life in Central Mexico during the rainy season. Really, there has not been as much rain as we had last year by mid-June. It is, however, overcast, grey, and miserable. It's also cold. So, here we are trying to amuse ourselves until Guanajuato's "near-perfect weather" decides to resurface, which will be sometime in October.

To amuse myself, I was reading several sources I have in our casita trying to find some ideas about which to write. I ran across an amazing statistic that you will find a bit strange. But, here goes:

Did you know that between 100,000 150,000 people in America are injured each year by their clothes?

I am not making this up. Vast quantities of Americans each year have to make a run to a hospital's emergency room due to injuries sustained from their clothing. How is this possible and what do they tell the ER doctor?

"I was attacked in the night while trying to make my way to the potty by my pair of vicious socks. I know they tripped me on purpose!"

"I was just minding my own business when that SOB pair of underwear got all twisted in a knot and strangulated my poor aching and now throbbing manhood."

"It started as a normal donning of my shirt when suddenly, out of the blue, my Hanes t-shirt popped me in the eye."

"I tried remaining very still and playing dead, but you know how a pair of shorts will look at you as prey. They bit me a good one."

"I don't know how it happened but my stockings just lashed out and cut me."

"My nightgown and I have been estranged. We haven't been talking. It beat me senseless tonight out of the blue when all I suggested was it was time to go in the wash."

I want to know what exactly do they tell the doctor? And what does the doctor list on the forms he has to send to the insurance company?

Hernia caused by mean pair of Levis?

Groin rupture by recalcitrant panties?

Panty-liner contusion?

Trouser lesion?

Boxer-short fracture?

Girdle Gout?

Brassier Bruising?

Dangerous buttock chaffing by sweaty underwear?

Boot butt kicking? (self-inflicted)

Jogging pants blisters?

Nightshirt trauma?

I mean, this could go on and on. I still have no clue how someone could be hurt so badly by his or her clothes (and so many Americans are) that the injury requires an emergency room visit.

But, it happens.

Submitted by:

Douglas Bower

Learning a New Language Has Never Been Easier




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